Vicevi (Jokes)

Let's post here a few jokes with Croatian flavour. Contributions welcome!
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Pita učiteljica Ivicu: Zašto si opet zakasnio u školu?
Ivica: Sanjao sam da sam išao na put oko svijeta pa sam se kasnije probudio.
Učiteljica: A zašto si ti, Perice, zakasnio?
Perica: Bio sam na aerodromu da dočekam Ivicu.

Taken from vicevi.hr

          A teacher asks Ivica: Why were you again late to school?
          Ivica: I dreamt that I went on a trip around the world, so I woke up later.
          Teacher: And why were you late, Perica?
​          Ivica: I was at the aerodrome to welcome Ivica.

Q.        Marija is a Croatian snail. Who is her husband?
A.        Puž Muž.
 

Q.        In which city in USA are there the most mice?
A.        Mišigan.
 

Q.        Which river in USA do mice like to drink from?
A.        Mišisipi.
 

OK, so we have room for improvement ....

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